My Cousin Marina at Military Graduation
Graduating from high school, thought I would never live up to my dream.
Thinking that the way things were going, would be the best that it would ever get for me.
Taking advantage of what I ever had dealt to me. I couldn’t take it anymore and had to be someone better. To make my family proud, I knew this decision would change my life forever. Sacrificing my family and friends to be here. And I cant ever let them see me shed my tears. Never let them feel the fear, that I feel being over here. This place gets the best of me. Trying to be all that I can be. Soaking in my sorrow and guilt of leaving my family. Back in the states pondering in thought of whether I’m ok. And the truth is, I’m not. The truth is, im drowning. The truth is, I’m sitting here in Iraq, in a country where everyone hates you. Where everyone sees YOU as the enemy. Roaming the streets of Baghdad. Sitting in a turret with my 50. Cal. In a war similar to the Battle of Guadalcanal. Where Al-Qaeda are the Japanese, taking over Baghdad with their terrorism. And us the American forces trying to take over, to make this country better. But all it does is make these people hate us more. Showing us the door. So I hope for the best when times get worse. But its gets harder to breathe. The pressure builds up inside my chest, ready to leave. And this weight I have to carry on my sleeve, the reality of my life here is that I have no control of it. the impotency i feel by not being able to help my family out because we are worlds apart. Seeing babies walk the streets here. With no parents. It breaks my heart. But makes me think how i could ever take for granted everything that mine has ever done for me. This emptiness I feel inside, I try and hide. So you don’t have to carry the weight of my problems on you chest. and so for that reason I always try and do my best. And now I can say that this war has changed me, for the better. Looking back at the life I had. And what I have now, I thank God for everything. And for helping me realize all the happiness in my life you bring.
